Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Is physical abuse as a child linked to sexual addiction as an adult?

I have been seeing a therapist who specializes in compulsive sexual behaviors. I also attend 12 Step meetings for my sexually compulsive behaviors. My therapist is in agreement that I have a sexual behavior problem, and the therapist uses the term "sexual addiction" in describing my behavior problem. I won't get into the details. My therapist asks a lot of questions about my childhood, and lately has focused on my father's disciplinary actions, which can be viewed as physical abuse. Again, I will spare you the details. My therapist seems to imply that my "sexual addiction" is linked to physical abuse as a child. My question is how are the two linked? I am not into BDSM. I have my own theories, and I am interested in hearing your theories, particularly if you were physically abused as a child. I want to stress that I was NOT sexually abused. Thanks. Peace.

Is physical abuse as a child linked to sexual addiction as an adult?
In some cases, yes. I was in training to be a foster parent a few years back, and that is one of the things they warned us about. Sex addiction is usually (though not always) a sign of a deeprooted need to be loved, accepted, and cared for. if a child is beaten, when they grow up they wish to hide from that pain and use sex (or drugs, or alcohol, or violence) to do it.
Reply:I would say I suffered a lot of verbal abuse which has caused me to be a sex addict, but I'm not sure whether actually its just normal. All men are addicted to sex.
Reply:Thats an extremely interesting question; as I used to have a friend who was both physically, emotionally and sexually abused, he was a sex addict, who basically then went on to abuse women in relationships....for example........having 8 to 9 sexual relationships at one time, along with 3 to 4 sexual meetings with consenting adults over a weekend period.....he said it was a power thing over women, because he had been sexually abused by his mother............good question x
Reply:Something tells me your therapist is a regular Freudian. If the abuse was sexual in nature, then yes it's quite possible. Otherwise, no. Maybe you just really like sex? (sometimes a cigar is just a cigar?)
Reply:That's an interesting question. I'm afraid I don't know if or how those two are connected. I myself was physically and mentally abused as a child and as an adult I seem to think about sex most of the time but practice it less than the average person. But the results of abuse come out in different ways depending on the individual involved. What's interesting is how often they are in the form of some addiction (sex, drugs, alcohol etc.). I wonder if it has anything to do with trying to deal with the pain. Some people may try to drown their sorrows while others try to use sex to get pleasure instead of the pain...? Just thinking out loud here, I don't know if this has anything to do with the real connection. Your question gave me some good food for thought though.
Reply:It seems that all sorts of behavorial and addictive behaviour problems are blamed on childhood experiences. I was physically abused as a child, in that both my parents, particularly my mom, believed in beating as a form of punishment. Not just slaps or spankings, but beating. I remember many times when I was bruised and sore from them. The belt was used or, when she was particularly angry, fists or shoes. I have no sexual or addictive behaviour, unless you count cigarettes, (which I gave up 15 years ago). My sisters and brother all have their idiosynchrysies and we are a normally dysfunctional family, but we all survived mostly intact. The lesson I learned from it was never to be the kind of parent my mother and father were. My siblings and myself still talk about these times when we get together, but we have gone on with our lives. You have to right? I think to overcome any type of dysfunctional behaviour makes you a stronger person for having gone through it, more than not.


Good luck, (I'm not religious, but, I will pray to my higher power for you.)


No comments:

Post a Comment